Monday, 21 June 2010

Lettuce Prey

By Vegemitevix

There’s no asking. None of it. No ‘please may I’.
Vegemitevix scares away hungry teens
 There is only pilfering on unsuspecting prey.
 From my spot on the couch in the lounge I can hear footsteps in the kitchen.
Cupboards open. A tap is turned.
I wait expectantly. Any moment now.
I could recognise those movements anywhere. It’s 14 yr old Dark Princess. Isn’t strange how you get to know which of your children it is by their movements, and their habits.
I sip my coffee slowly. Am I smiling?
A little.
The door to the fridge has opened. Yet within minutes it’s shut.
I try to remain quiet in the lounge. I struggle against inhaling my coffee through giggling.
The fridge door opens again. AND SHUTS.
”That can’t be right,’ she’s thinking. I can almost see the perplexed look on her face.
But she is her mother’s daughter. Determined. Focussed. Hungry.
Nonchalently I walk into the kitchen. Dark Princess is at the fridge door.

‘Go on. Open it. Dare ya’ I think to myself smiling.
‘You know you want to’.
 And she does. She opens the fridge door, but within seconds she’s whimpering. Her hands clasped firmly across her ears.
 ‘Can you hear it? What is it?’ She wails.
I can’t hear anything. I’m too old to hear it.
 ‘Nup. Don’t know what you’re going on about’.

She throws a sulky pout, slams the fridge door shut and storms out. Making sure she has left the area I sneak over to the fridge and open the door. I can’t hear anything high-pitched and annoying. ‘Where did he put it?’ I look through the top shelf behind the milk, up behind the eggs, and then finally I open the vegetable drawer containing an old shrivelled red pepper and a bag of lettuce leaves.

I’m guessing my Englishman has put it where the kids would never look. In the vege drawer. Sure enough I reach into the bag of lettuce leaves and pull out the little electronic device he’s made for me.
It’s a mosquito. It emits a high pitched sound that drives grazing teenagers nuts. Adults can’t hear it. Teenagers will eat their own elbows to get away from it.

Every Mum of teenagers should have one! I reccommend you hide it in the lettuce.
There’ll never look there!

First published on my blog: 

Image Flickr CC:


  1. What a totally brilliant idea-the Mamas are going to love you. Too late for me though, I'd give a lot to have them all back home-famished.

  2. Some people have suggested that we market it. Do you think people would really buy it?

  3. I love it! I want one! It will save my hours of trying to find the next hiding place, the arguments over who drank the last can of coke, ate the last chocolate and amusement at their puzzlement over the noise.

  4. Slap a patent on that baby and get it on the market!

  5. I'll tell the Englishman he has a market for his gizmo. He's an evil genius!

  6. hilarious!
    great post,
    great patent. can you make one to work on Annoying neighbors?


  7. Ooh, good idea.
    Our family room is separated from the kitchen by double doors so I can hear the squeaky pantry door no matter how slowly it's opened. You practically have to put your foot on the wall to open the fridge, but I have no intention of fixing either door. Too easy really.