My son bubbled over with chatter and deep conversation. He was my little boy again.
Then we spent most of the weekend together. Hey, without friends and laptop I am not such bad company for him.
He sat next to me while he completed college applications and drafted an essay.
Yes, he sat next to me.
He is taking all of his many consequences with grace. He has not complained except to say that he wonders when he is going to stop being surprised by consequences. He asked when some of them might be lifted. I told him that I didn't know -- I had never had a kid before who smoked pot -- this is new for me, too.
Hey, today he laughed at one of my jokes.
Hey, today I joked.
One step at a time.
Meanwhile, I am keeping this boy close to my hip.
I've always said that kids (especially boys, at the risk of sounded sexist - but since I have 4 of each, I may have enough experience to make this judgement) are brilliant when they are in the kitchen with their moms. Right and Wrong seems very clear while standing near the homefire.
As kids get further and further from the kitchen, they get dumber. Yes, they do dumber things.
And the more teenage brains are in in one place, the dumber they get. Brain mass actually atrophies.
Yes, I am getting my sense of humor back.
I recognize him more as my son as time goes on. And I recognize myself a bit more, too.
Thanks for listening to me as I go through this little dip in the raising teenagers journey. I am sure that we are not done yet...but I think I will pause from sharing the day-by-day with you.
Now back to our regular parents-of-teenagers-tongue-in-cheek posts. I'm ready for the laughs.
What an eye-opener this has been for me. My boy just hit 15. What you said,
ReplyDelete"I've always said that kids (especially boys, at the risk of sounded sexist - but since I have 4 of each, I may have enough experience to make this judgement) are brilliant when they are in the kitchen with their moms. Right and Wrong seems very clear while standing near the homefire."
Really resonated with me. Because when talking to my boy Right & Wrong seem very black and white to him; but what must it seem like when he's not with me? (Like tonight??)
Your boy, after all is said and done, will realize just how much his parents love him and will be fine; I'm sure of it.
Thank you for sharing this journey. As painful as it must have been it will be helpful to others.
Yes, thanks for sharing and good luck. Not that you need luck really - you seem to know what you're doing.
ReplyDeleteI just stumbled upon your blog and have read your 7 AD days. I cannot imagine going through what you are now, but I am in awe of your strength. You are very wise, and your techniques seem to be working well for you. I wish you all all the best. Your son is lucky to have you for.
ReplyDeleteOk...now I am going to let my breath out, just a little, seem to have been holding it since day one, as have you I suspect. What a mum! And Dad.
ReplyDeletethank you so much for this, it has made me think!!
ReplyDeleteI am going to print these out and show them to LArry....and remember every word myself!
thanks SInk for the clarification and exlantion...very useful...
pleaes do ask hubby to write a post or three!!
saz x
Great posts and I am glad you are getting yourselves slowly back together, am sure you will all come out of this as stronger people.
ReplyDeleteOne thing is for sure, he knows that you care and love him so much. I'm sure he will be so thankful for all you are doing. Take care of yourselves.
ReplyDeleteI think you have summed up everything in this:
ReplyDelete"I've always said that kids (especially boys, at the risk of sounded sexist - but since I have 4 of each, I may have enough experience to make this judgement) are brilliant when they are in the kitchen with their moms. Right and Wrong seems very clear while standing near the homefire.
Absolutely. Hang in there, you are doing an incredible job, and unlike so many parents that I know (family included) who have walked away from tough situations with their kids, wringing their hands saying "it's too hard" - you are seeing it through, and I know that your son will pull through.