Where has the time gone, asks Lime
indeed...
My son Patrick turned 19 in the summer, just one day before he leapt across the Atlantic to up state New York for his 2nd year of uni...I miss him. even though he has already been away from me for a year, we have been in touch, email/skype/viber more than last year.
But he is truly away from me, on another vast expanse of earth, separated. This time is different. I expressed this, though less emotionally t'other evening..and his response was, 'yeah, but mum we are under the same sky..!'
such calming, soft words, soothed.
He has been my companion, my world these last few years; his first year of uni, were my first days truly single, starting over. Loss of purpose is very hard to deal with, and each of the last three years has brought about layer upon layer of loss and partings.
He is my last born, my baby...my man child...my hero
How would life be, if he had chosen to remain with his father and sister, after the break-up.
Just by his being, he saved me; he allowed me to become a better mum; a better me.
love, labours, lost...
and found....the stages of mother/child.
god I love the very bones of the child...
keep him safe for me 'till June...
saz xx
( I haven't posted here in over a year at least...apologies..life has taken many of us by the short and curlies and we have allowed our eye to be taken off the ball. Both my kids are at uni now, only one is a teen, Patrick as mentioned above...so I still qualify as MMM!!!)
How lovely to hear from you, Saz. Please don't think that Patrick is the only person to give you a sense of purpose. I'd love to hear from you on scriptorsenex@gmail.com (I'll be thinking of you on Tuesday week).
ReplyDeleteI shall pray (or whatever it is I do when I appeal to some greater Being up There) for his safety. His response of being under the same sky is similar to my brother's who points out (when he is in New Zealand) that we are both under the same moon. It does somehow bring them closer.
My first born is a Christmas card type friend, now. My son still at home and still, at 26, has big issues. But my second daughter - now in her 30s - makes life worth living through her regular contacts of one sort or another. So long as they are on the same planet we have both purpose and joy in them.
P.S. I hadn't heard of Vibe - another technology to investigate... Help!
Love
John
thank you john for your comment, reassuring at this late/early morning time...l find sleep eludes and then when it is time to waken, l am so sluggish.
Deletewe give them life, purpose and then the paradox is they fly away..too far and cut ties that bind...hard to accept...
talk soon..love saz xxx