Friday, 30 April 2010

Where have all the flowers gone?

Bringing up teenagers is such torment.

They can be the Devil Incarnate.

The hormones raging. ...The voices rising in anger...

His and mine. Lawd help the neighbours!

What goes on when they are chattering to their friends on Facebook? Tapping across the keys like Tasmanian Devils! What are they up to? What are they hiding from us?

We, who know better? Their elders and betters, non?!

They are young, they don't know the dangers, the lies of strangers, the horror of Trolls Under The Bridge...

The pleasures and pitfalls of life.

And we tread softly. On brittle eggshells. Through the morass of their lives.

Our lives...

Through Lynx and Cereal, as one of our lovely writers put it lately!

How I identify with you -- Talking to a door. A staircase. A raised hand. A set of jangling car-keys. The back of their well-groomed heads.

...Their music tutor. Their girlfriend... What's going on?

Why isn't Grizz at school?

This is Grizz's last year in school...

He could be in the Army in Israel, in Iraq, in Afghanistan, s we have seen here. How brave you are, you mums of young soldiers. I cannot put myself in your shoes. I could not. I dare not.

Instead, I run the gamut of 'too little too late' handed in papers and assignments. Of work just not done well. Of 'could be doing betters', of examination pictures snapped too late for homework deadlines...

If onlys', and finally 'what ifs...'

I know he has a bright future. I can see it in my dreams. Those lucid dreams where I can stop endlessly worrying about him and get on with 'our' lives... I know I never will...

Day-dreams, where he is dandling his own bright chuckling baby on his lanky knees, and I can go back to feeding handfuls of dry crackers to ravenous, dagger-eyed goats, to taking the ducks some bread, to soaking up leisurely 'Baby Duckling' sessions at the local lido, and putting out his push-chair damp from warm rain to dry in the sun...

Innocence. Innocents.

Where did the time go to, my friends?

Can someone please tell me?


  1. It is 'their' time, isn't, lovely we had our time of dreaming, not 'what ifs' but 'whens'. When I grow up...when I finish school...when I fall in love.

    Do not kid yourself that the worrying ends when they've gone to their destinies. The umbilical cord was cut but not the invisible one that carries the worry gene.
    I can promise you that if you have done your job right and you know with certainty that they know you love them, they will love you forever more, and watch out for they will be back.

  2. LOL....l'l be back!!!

    Fhina....with one breath they go when you least expect sometimes, l hope the 'natural' way of things prevails...and you have some warning....l sent too much time projecting my daughters leaving for uni...and hten...

    It's about giving them your own values and hoping it has permeated through to their psyque....hope...

    luv saz x

  3. I know, I know. One of mine is looking at colleges and the other is shaving. Ah but then I have a 6 year old to cuddle!

  4. The beginning of this weekend has been a really anxious one, as have these weeks, really, as we tussle with his not wanting to go to school any more, while he has only 6 or so weeks of school left...

    He is understandably anxious about exams and the stress is proving very hard for all of us, and is impacting on everyone, as we try to coax, cajole, reassure, settle, explain, love, scream, trying not to scream, love, sleep, worry, dream, wonder, hope...

    Many thanks for you being you, mes amis xxx

  5. Lots of hugs. When our kids go through tough times, it is tough for us as well.

    I want to share something that I was told by two people that has really helped me deal with my kids and has changed my way of looking at things.

    We are each here in this life for a journey. I believe one our souls set up for us to learn things and to grow and to experience.

    As parents we are there to love, to guide, to teach by example but what is the most important to remember is that our children's life is their journey. Not ours. Something again that I believe their soul chose for them for the maximum learning and growing.

    For me personally once I released the anxiety about kind of trying to live my son's life for him and remembered his life is his journey not mine, it really helped.