Wednesday, 4 November 2009

Day 4 - A.D.

A.D. - After Drug use confirmed at our house.

H1N1 is full blown at our house. And this may just be a good thing...

The school superintendent has closed school for 3 days and we are all home together.


This is just what we need on days 4-7 A.D. -- After drug use confirmed by our 17 year old son.

Did I tell you that this particular child of our 8 has been the easiest? Truly?

His grades started to slip last Spring and we were worried. We started asking lots of questions, but he always had a good answer...and, here's our mistake: we believed him.

He picked his grades up, but still things didn't seem right. The last couple of weeks he wanted to sleep at a friend's house once each weekend. I smelled him when he came home, but never noticed anything. Nuts. I should have tested him right away.

I could torment myself by thinking about all that I could have done differently, all the lies he must have told me, but I have decided that I am not going to do that.

Instead, I am focused on each next right step -- an action plan.

I've shared some of that with you in previous posts. My husband keeps asking me how I'm feeling (remember, we all have H1N1?). When I tell him still sick, I know that is not what he is asking. He wants me to share my feelings...and I tell him "I'm not going there..."

So, for today, it is the next right step.

Today my son is making his room spotless...spotless so that I can look in any drawer, in any corner, and know that he is not hiding anything. We are going back to square one.

Someday I'm going to laugh about this...but for today, it is just the next right step.

Day 5 - Appointment with Alcohol and Drug Counselor for an assessment.


  1. I know what you are going through, I felt sick and still do thinking that my 17 year old had been smoking dope behind our backs and that it took so long to actually get my hubby to face the fact and then deal with it. He seems clean at the moment and has moved back to the UK to go to a boarding school to resit his A-levels, where disipline and studying are the norm. I still worry that he will slip up, but at least he knows we are supporting him not against him. Wish you lots of strength, getting through this x

  2. Don't torment yourself. He wasn't going to make it easy for you. My husband was using cocaine heavily for three years and I believed his lies. It seems so obvious now but always want to see the best in them.