Friday, 12 March 2010


One of the boys in my teenage son's class was suspended for two days today. My son just can't believe it.....

They were all messing around with one of the boys phones. It got passed around the class and finally ended up with the boy sitting next to my son. He decided to send a text to the boy's mother saying "I'm gay".

A little while later a text came back saying "OK, lets talk about it later".

The entire class were in hysterics, including the boy who's phone it was apparently. They just thought it was the funniest thing ever.

Today however, was a different matter. The boy who sent the text was called in to see the Headmaster and told that the mother had found the text deeply distressing and as a result not only had she had to leave work early, but she had a panic attack. The school consequently saw no alternative but to suspend him.

Not good, but a bit extreme don't you think?

My son and his friends are thinking about starting a petition to say just that they think that attitude is verging on the homophobic.



  1. I can in many ways understand the mother. I also do not understand it for a few reasons.

    First: you came across to your son in such a tolerant and amazing way by your first reaction being, let's talk about it later. Why go and ruin in now by showing you said one thing but really meant another.

    I think the most productive and trust building thing for her to have done was to have spoken to her son directly about it all. Be honest and tell him that although she would have been able to manage if it had been true, it caused here a lot of stress... If she really wanted to , why not just call the other kids parents and deal with it like that.

    I think that people need to just learn to be more direct with each other and express their feelings instead of looking for ways to punish others.

    I think the whole way it was done sends a bad message.

  2. lordy...a bit extreme l think....suspended...???blimey!!

    kids ....its kids...the history with the boy and the context is key...not knowing if there is something else....
    the woman overreacted but its her perspective...I would not react like that...even if true...l would assume it a joke if by text like that...duh!

  3. A very knee-jerk reaction by the school (and perhaps the mother, for who among us would have had a panic attack - You might be surprised or taken aback, but a panic attack seems over-the-top, although they're obviously horrible attacks to suffer... You'd have to be daft not to realise it's a joke, unless that's how you'd expect your son to contact you?, as Saz says...)

    All round, a poor show, and a great post x

    What will the kids think as a result, that if any of them were ever thinking of coming out, that they will sneak back in the closet in terror.

    Terrible, poor boys...

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  5. Try again.
    It's a shame this centered around the upset mother rather than the homophobic nature of the original text. Kids say "That's so Gay" without realising how big a slur it is, and the boy who sent the text obviously intended some reaction. After all, he wasn't texting "Ive dyed my hair".
    They need a lecture in tolerance in my opinion rather than a suspension. (And, yes, I think the mother and the school over-reacted a bit.)

  6. Without knowing each party it's difficult to say. Some mothers might take it in their stride, others might be completely horrified and could well find it extremely distressing. One shouldn't perhaps judge based on one's own reaction to a particular situation. And after all, what was the mother's reply supposed to say? Get out of my house you *****. It was a thoughtless and insensitive act by the boy who sent the text but deserves an apology to the mother rather than suspension IMHO.

  7. The school was over the top....and the mum! Yikes! If I got a text like that I'd assume it was a prank. I do agree about the use of the term 'gay' as an insult. I work in both secondary and primary schools and according to the kids it's the worst thing you can call someone. However, being a modern mum, I discussed the who thing about it being ok if my son was gay with him when he was 10, and, I kid you not, he took my hand and said that he knew it was ok, but ' I'm straight mum, you know. Not into gay stuff'. I was gobsmacked. When I was 10, gay was happy and straight was something that wasn't wavy!