Thursday, 7 January 2010

The Best of Intentions

I don't know, I just thought the new school year would kick off with a little more, hmmm, organization/organisation. I'd had two weeks of sitting around with not enough to do while everyone else was out on the slopes. The "reminders" and "to-do" lists had used up all the memory on my phone. I have significantly reduced my Pinot Grigio intake, mainly due to histamine reactions to the merest whiff, so my mind is razor sharp. (OK, poetic license/licence there.)

I made all kids go to bed at a reasonable time on Sunday night, the backpacks were ready at the door, the PE clothes washed and ready, cell phones, keys and other paraphernalia located. Oh yeah....2010 is bringing some changes, I thought.

Now, I admit that we were an hour behind on Monday morning, having spent two weeks on Mountain Time instead of Central Time, so waking up was going to be a challenge. The Ball & Chain usually gets up five minutes before me and makes so much noise that there's no way I could ever fall back to sleep, but since he's on a quote unquote "conference", I was in charge. Managed to wake the man-child a whole ten minutes before he had set his alarm - not a happy camper, to put it mildly.

"Oh for god's sake it's only ten minutes" I said. He displayed a surprisingly dry wit for a just-woken teen when he punched back with "Oh yeah, 'cause you wouldn't mind at all". I sloped off, stage right.

The Queenager said she was awake when I popped my head in, but she could have been sleep-talking. The Little Guy - was nowhere to be seen. At 6, he's perfecty capable of getting his own breakfast, as long as I don't mind wiping up the half gallon of milk that doesn't make it into the cereal bowl, so I wasn't worried. I'm not thrilled about him getting up earlier than 7am though. Why? Because he can't tell the time yet (eek) so neither of us have any idea how long he has been up. Has he been watching TV for two minutes or two hours? How much sleep did he actually get?

Anyhoo, after much questioning, the teenagers were allowed to leave for school. (Phone? Keys? PE stuff? Homework?) "Mom", they wailed as one, with maximum lack of patience, and much eye-rolling.

And yes, it happened.

Two minutes before leaving with Little Guy, came the first phone call. It was so predictable that even LG said "Oh that must be one of them."

Me: "Yes", stretching out the word for maximum effect.
Queenager: "Oh thank god you're still there." (Playing to an audience of at least six high schoolers, I deduced.)
Me: "Well...."
Queenager: "I forgot my math homework. Can you bring it please."
Me: "What, - the stuff you were panicking about last week and have been working on ALL weekend?"
Queenager: "OK, OK. Pleeeeze can you bring it? Thanks. Love ya."

Thirty seconds before leaving, there it goes again.

Me: "What now?"
Man-child: "Whuh?"
Me: "Oh it's you. What's the matter?"
M-C: "Hey. Mom? (Pause) I forgot my key. You will be in at 3.30pm won't you?"
Me: "What if I'm not?" (Like I go anywhere.)
M-C: "Mom". Again with the hour-long word.
Me: "Yes, I suppose so". (Implying huge sacrifice on my part.)
M-C: "Cool. (Pause) See ya".

Oh well. What's that song? Tomorrow, tomorrow......

Expat MOM




  1. Sounds so much like my kids. I thought I was the only Mum who didn't go anywhere. Mine have so far this year lost their keys, their rain coats, their coursework for GCSE's, their hats, and gloves, and a variety of shoes. I'm more nervous about them going back to school than they are, I don't think I can handle the pressure.

  2. This all sounds so scarily familiar! They really do think that all we do is sit around doing diddly squat all day completely at their beck and call. Mine should have all gone back to school on Monday, but because of the snow are off all week!!!

  3. He really said 'Love Ya' while on the phone with his mates there? Are you sure you've remembered that correctly? Junior would definitely consider that to be 'uncool' (or whatever the modern equivalent is!)

  4. I just love this blog-now that I am in the safety zone and reaping the benefits of the cool, thoughtful and loving upbringing [yea, right!] my kids had. The memories are truly pleasurable, and I smile, knowingly.

  5. Lord no - it's a SHE! Although the man-child did give me a kiss on the cheek this morning before he left. At the front door too!

  6. did you deliver said items? we've managed just two days at school out of last week's five. Not even sure they'll go back tomorrow. We've had a blissful week of continued Christmas inertia.

  7. I admit I did deliver the stuff. Given that I am not yet out the door when they call, and I'm going to the same building they're in, it's just too punitive not to. If I didn't have to go in, I would definitely say "tough" though.