Do click on the photos so you can see all of them, if Blogger chops one of these off in its prime.
...I know just how that feels!
Grizz was rampaging about the house all last weekend. Like the proverbial Bull in a China Shop, he was!
Our modest workmen's cottage could not contain his bulk, nor his angst...
You see, he wanted his girlfriend to be able to stay over at the weekend... To sleep-over... in his room, and not on the sofa...
And this time he wasn't asking if it was all right for his friend Max to sleep-over...
Grizz is 17. The 'Woodland Faerie' is 18, and in the year above Grizz at school... They've known one another for 4 years. They were best friends...
He had a girlfriend for just under one year. They broke up at Christmas...
Faerie had a long-term boyfriend... I'm not sure that they've even broken up...I believe that they have, and Grizz has 'moved in' to the space vacated by him...
Now the pair of them are something else altogether...
And I want to ask all those mad, manic, mama questions that I do so well...
But we got the message, like a little dove wrapped in an iron fist, took our coats and went out, leaving them alone...
Home Alone...
My parents would never have condoned that in my case... But I'm not my parents...
And I still don't know whether what we did was right or wrong...
What does it say in the Handling Teen Terrorists' Manual for Mad, Manic, Mamas again?!
Mmmm...what to say, considering MY mama reads this column?
ReplyDeleteWel actualy to be upfrnt, truthful and honest, Im with you Fhina..not sure Larry is as it has yet to come to pass...but I would rather they are under my roof, in the dry, safe??? and sound??? and yes I'd go out too, but only if it were planned, which it wouldnt be so we won't.
ok yes there is something exciting and yes furtive scurrying about in the dark, fumbling about in a lane, an alley or worse....nuff said...but in the main as long as all the boxes are ticked...and its not a different boy/girlfriend every few months, weeks, or days heaven forfend...then yes bring em home...but do ask first, do be respectful and quiet and dont flaunt yourselves in front of me or worse Dad...
guess I had best talk this through with Larry now, later, next week...
I think you made the right choice. My son and his partner met at seventeen and are now 20, and he and she have been sharing his room (on her visits) since they concreted their relationship at eighteen. It's hard to accept he's grown up, and I prefer to be out when they're in. Earplugs may come in handy for the future.
ReplyDeleteCoping with the idea of my kids having a sex life has actually been not as traumatic as them coping with the idea that I had one too:-) if you are accepting then they will be more open with you.
ReplyDeleteI remember my parents being in denial about the whole thing, insisting on separate rooms even after we cohabited!
thanks for sharing
Martine
I know my kids were horrified at the possibility that WE might be doing it,when they were younger [and we were] yet it is as natural to them as breathing it seems. Daft thing to say because of course it is as natural as breathing and if we still lived in caves the doing of it wouldn't stir Neanderthal man or woman from searching for lice in each others hair-or from knawing on a mammoth bone. But we live in a society where there are rules, and they should work both ways. It is not normal to know your teenager is in the arms of his/her paramour in the bedroom still painted black or pink and surrounded by stuffed toys and ancient posters...It may be 'the done thing' but it isn't respectful, sorry ladies, it's that word again. Sure, it is possible that this is love and may be for a lifetime, but the chances are it isn't, and soon down the line will come the inevitable breakup and the next one is in line for the boudoir. And if it is the real thing, then using a bit of restraint won't hurt.
ReplyDeleteChances are you won't be popular, but is that what you want?
I think I should stop commenting on this blog because I show my age.
It just seems to me that there is too much giving in, he/she wants this or that, they want sex now, where before it was trainers...sex has to mean more than just fulfilling an urge...doesn't it? Doesn't it demean the act, make it as important as brushing ones teeth?
oh gosh Mum....I thought you might have mellowed your views a tad....LOL....
ReplyDeleteI just hate the thought of kids doing it in less than salubrious surroundings, I know they will and its all part of the journey, but I also feel that if they are in a relationship then shouldnt we open our doors to them....or else they will sneak around...and if they dont want to bring them home...why not, whats hiding?
It hasnt all happened here yet, but when/if it does, I will completely probably contradict myself, or Larry and I wont agree...
who knows..I'm approachable and open to discuss, is all...
La, la, la, (fingers in ears). I'm afraid at 17, I won't be letting my kids do that under my roof. I'm not wholly sure that they actually will go off and do it elsewhere; I tend to think that when you give them a nice, warm space to do it in, they will probably do it earlier than otherwise.
ReplyDeleteSorry - but I have just seen two friends' kids become parents far too early because of this.
Surely it not where they do it or even IF they do it----
ReplyDeletebut It's more important these days that they do it
a) well prepared and
b) properly...I know that sounds funny, but oe can't assume they can, cos l've heard stories from doctors, that people don't know better nowadays cos its all out there in the media and all...but there is so much ignorance...
but thats a whole other post.....
Thopugh I am aghast at how little provision there is, its like the 1960's still in some cities...so much for the kids have it all these days....delve a little deeper in your communities, to see what provisions there are available should your teen go longer for advice, help and a helpful chemist. Its like the dark ages...I am truly appalled!
ANd Moannie, your voice has as much value if not more than anyone here..Al voices, views and perspectives AND experiences are valued, helpful and positive for all parents to make a decision or judgement.
We hope to invite some mature MMM's to address some topics...all in the name of exchange and communication. Every little helps.
saz xx
Okay, I know I'm in the minority, but I would have laughed in my son's face if he asked me this.
ReplyDeleteI'm another minority voice & have to agree with Moannie's values & Artist Unplugged's response.
ReplyDeleteNot on my watch or house kiddos!
My eldest son (17) approached me some time ago to sound me out on the subject (as if he didn't know what my answer would be) and tried to beat me down with "it´s better that it is here and not in some dangerous place" and don´t you prefer to know where I am?". My husband stands with me on this and we have repeatedly been accused of being old fashioned and stuffy, and all that. I know that times are different and quite possibly we won't be able to hold out forever, nevertheless I think that we should make it difficult for them so that they are more conscientious about what they are doing. I am of the opinion that our kids have it far too easy!
ReplyDelete