Thursday, 6 August 2009

The Whole Story As Told By The School Report Card...

Illinois School Report Card Pictures, Images and Photos

I know the school holidays have started... But I just had to get this off my chest - And it is an ample chest, a Matron Shelf, soi-disant, which is just as well, as I've got to bear so much upon it, and across my shoulders these days - In fact, since the very moment I became the Long-Suffering Mother of a Teen Terrorist - A little like Mother Theresa, but with less wrinkles and even less piety, in my case...!

Okay... Since Grizz was a tot, as loveable as he was when he was wee, we've received regular school reports telling us about his behaviour in the hours when we're not wholly responsible for what he says and what he does...

Since the wonderful Mrs Sked's Reception Class (age 4), we've been told about how he can be a bit of a chatter-box in class... 'You've raised a confident boy. Well done...' said one of my friends...

'He can be easily distracted', said the ensuing years' reports...

'He isn't always paying attention during lessons... He has a tendency to day-dream...'

Okay, so we've a creative child, with a short attention span...

Like a goldfish!

He'll grow out of it, friends said... It's just a phase!

Goldfish Pictures, Images and Photos

'Tell us something we don't know...', We joshed...

A serious pep-talk ensued...

Things improved... For a while.

And then came,

'He gets by on just the minimum...'

'We know he could do much better, if he'd only work harder...'

'He's a likeable child'... We knew this, or else we'd have tried to have him adopted much earlier!

The report card we received at the tail-end of term says, 'He's a likeable young man...'

Yes, we know he is... Thanks!

...But what happened to the serious, studious child we thought we'd have? The one who wears Harry Potter glasses, and always with his head, stuck in a book - The one getting better results in his exams than either of his parents ever did...

'Cause your kids always do better in school than their parents did, right?!
At least that's what all the research indicates...

We've come to the sorry conclusion that the man-child is simply bone-lazy... Lazy Pictures, Images and Photos

What do we do? How can we get the message over to The Boy that this time in your life matters soooo much... It only gets tougher as you grow up, not easier...

Hard work pays you back in good results... Usually.

My husband ran him round a 'Sink Estate' on the day he had his Driving Theory Test...

...He drove to a dead-end part of the city, twenty miles from our home... To show him where his life might lead, if he doesn't do as well as he ought, given his obvious intelligence...

Everyone there had bulldogs on leashes, and a man in a cagoule was sheltering from the rain - Under a tree - With his dog... The sun was shining, and it hasn't rained all week...

My husband stopped the car, pretending to ask directions from a crack-addict-faced woman with a Coke-Can fringe, lank locks pulled back into a material-less scrunchy... Sunken-cheeked, she had a bulldog tied to the bairn's push-chair with double thickness string... The bairn was as toothless as her mother, sucking seriously on a sickly sausage roll...

Grizz tried to central-lock the doors, and was rolling all the windows up frantically...

Shock tactics...? Well, we've tried (almost) everything now...

Any more tips?

Love you bloggeros and bloggeristas;

Still love you Grizzles, even tho'...your mother's at the end of her tether!

The initial shock... Pictures, Images and Photos


  1. I have no advice for this yet, but anxiously look forward to hearing if you find anything that works.

    My teen daughters drive themselves to the point of pain with their studies and get straight A's.

    My boy? Well, let's just say it's not going to happen that way with him. As far as school goes, he seems to strive for mediocrity.

  2. It's the 'why do more than the bare minimum philosophy' but are you sure you got the right reports? They sound just like Junior's used to be! We never found an answer but he still made his way to University!

  3. I've tried telling mine she'll fill shelves in Tesco all her life if she doesn't work hard, but they have selective deafness problems don't they?!

  4. There's a reason I call mine Mr. Minimal. In my case Ive told him that I'm not paying the school fees if he doesn't put any effort in! Seems to have scared him for now.

  5. I'm not sure there's much that can be done. I think at a certain poitn you have enough responsibility and independence that you truly see for yourself the direct correlation between had work and success. I think you can talk and show, but I think until you really experience it? It doesn't quite gel.

  6. Moms,close your eyes.Fresh air in, stale air out. Take it from a farm chick buried deep in the is what it is. Ya' know the old saying "you can lead a horse to water...?" Teen are tougher than any horse to break but it comes,slowly it comes. My two are now law-abidin' citizens who have blessed this gal with eight grandchildren and here we go again!!!

  7. OMG! I am not alone!! Thank you!!! I have the EXACT same problem with my Man-Child. He actually once told a teacher - "I made a C. I passed. What's the problem?" I could have throttled him right then and there!!! From everyone I talk to - my very informal poll tells me this is the majority of boys. And I thought having a boy would be easy. Ha!!