Wednesday, 1 July 2009

My Heart's Desire...

Baby boy Pictures, Images and Photos

I dreamed while I was heavily pregnant and worried, (well what else, we're talking Fhina here?!), of a small, blond cuddly toddler in arms...

You were about two years old, you were loving and sweet, full of slobbery kisses, cuddles and fun...

Practically the moment you were born, I held you in my arms, forgetting for a time about 24 hours of drug-free childbirth, (as recommended by the National Childbirth Trust!), and the midwife asked me if I wanted to know whether you were a boy or a girl.

And it really didn't matter to me then...

In a world full of hurt and lost children you had come to me just as in that dream, and you were fit and healthy, (apart from the fallen arch on your right foot), with those wonderful ten tiny fingers, and ten tiny toes. ...And I held you closely to my bosom, in the way that mothers have done since time began, when terrasaurs might have roamed the earth.

And then you pee'd all over me, in a Mannekin Pis style fountain rainbow-arch of widdle, soaking me, your exhausted dad and and the consultant, Mr Das, (who, do you remember, had hands the size of snow-shovels?!)

And we all laughed at your cheek and evident disdain for us, and I knew then you were the boy of my dreams, my heart's desire...

And I just need to recall those memories to mind, sometimes...

Do you remember when?

...Let me remind you.

...Those times when I am shouting so loud and so hoarsely like the harpy that I've turned into during your Teen Terrorist years, that I feel that our neighbours already have their finger on the speed dial to call Child Protection Services...

Pi Mannekin Pictures, Images and Photos


  1. Wonderful post true, so accurate and so vibrant with love. I caught my breath!

    Damn fine writing. I see I will have to step up some!!

    love ya

    saz x

  2. Hard to believe they are the same children, isn't it? Maybe that is part of what makes these years so painful...the striking conflict of the same body and person both being so completely different from what is familiar. And they will continue to change and confuse us. Just when we think we get the terror, they do something sweet and appreciate us again...


  3. Fhina, of all I have read of yours, I love this most. I leave this so happy and hopeful.

  4. Saz, if you step up some, my dahlink, I'll have to leave, as I'd never keep up with your beauty and your poignancy - Your writing is more than incredible - Don't stop, don't change!

    Sink: You have the badge, I can tell, sweetie! 'Been there, done that, got the T-Shirt and the stains...'

    They are wonderful, and they are occasionally terrible, non?! Never mind the Terrible Twos!

    WiW: That is so kind of you to say, chere Erin - I really appreciate your wonderful words and incredible writings, bless you...

  5. What can I add ? I'm with you x

  6. auntiegwen -great to see you here! hope you'll stay and join us!

    sink- boy you will have many posts to write l can tell..

    fhina- you are too sweet. Just keep writing like this and David will be a permanent feature!

    WIW- we are hoping you may want to sign up and write here when you feel so inclined? pretty please?

  7. Oh that first exciting moment when you meet the "alien in your tummy" for the very first time!

  8. Rosiero -
    And you have no idea how alien s/he will become! The future is such an amazing and hopeful quest!