Tuesday, 14 July 2009

Things I want my son to hear...

Iniquity is all around us Pictures, Images and Photos

Son, I'd like you to listen carefully to some of the things I've eventually learned in my own life, that I know may just help you as you are on the threshold of yours, my dahlink...

Now pay attention, that's right... Take the headphones off, there's a good boy. Switch your MSN profile to 'sleep mode' and could you just stop eating that egg sandwich so noisily, I can't hear myself think...

And get back in this room, you... I don't like always talking to your back!

I have got something to tell you -- It's really important... No, you can't have a fiver for listening...

*Ahem* (Clears throat).

I've learned that life is not a meritocracy.

~ But you must pull yourself up by your bootstraps and look out for yourself...

That doesn't mean that you should be selfish.


You need to look out for and care for others who may not be able to care for themselves...

i.e. your mother when she bursts her next disc, and has to resort to a Stannah Stairlift to get upstairs...

stannah Pictures, Images and Photos

What do you mean, "No way, José?!"

Schoolroom Pictures, Images and Photos

...That you do need to stick in at school, and work hard...

No more being the Class Clown...

Yes, I know your mother possesses a BA (Hons.) degree from one of the better English universities...

...And it has never appeared to have got her any farther in life, so what do I know...?

I don't need you to tell me that!

money Pictures, Images and Photos

I always believed that money doesn't buy happiness...

But, as the saintly Johnny Depp said recently -

"Money doesn’t buy you happiness; But it buys you a big enough yacht to sail right up to it."

Super Yacht Porto Banus Pictures, Images and Photos

Your smelly ol' mum eschewed money; She didn't marry the Jewish Doctor's Son, The Gloucestershire Potholer, or the Frenchman that looked like Eric Cantona, and she finally found true love - But the first stole from her, and the second, (your smelly ol' dad... Remember the one you call 'Porker'... Well, he took my life's savings (£300) to write off his student debt, and we've been counting the pennies left on life's windowsills ever since...)

Still we're happy!

miserable Pictures, Images and Photos

56 Pictures, Images and Photos


  1. I love simplifying all that we need to think about with our kids...a list of sorts...clarity...if only for a brief moment.
    fhina, you do an amazing job. Looking forward to the continuation....

  2. All good things that the young man needs to know!


  3. Oh I do love your sense of humour, Fhina!
    "And get back in this room, you... I don't like always talking to your back!" Oh so true to life!!!

  4. What a fab post, looking forward to the next instalment! It is all so true, thanks for sharing

  5. ...more to come....of course lovely...good laugh first thing today!! you sure thats not my tall boy?

  6. See - I would have said all that having forgotten to tell him to take the headphones off. At the end of my speech he would turn round and say "What?"

  7. So many conflicting messages in life aren't there. Can you please deliver the message my kids about the whole meritocracy thing? We seem to particularly struggle with that one.

  8. Sink: Thank you precious - And I know you know just how hard it all is, all those wonderful wee'uns that you have! x

    Bloggus: I can but try, my dear friend BN! We can only do our best, right?! xox

    Scriptor: And you know it, Sir! Most of the time you are raving like a loon to the back of heads wobbling out of the room!

    b: Bless you for recognising yourself in all this madness, non?!

    Expat Mum: I know, I have done that many a time. Particularly when you're trying to impart something really important, and they're sitting behind you in the car, plugged out of the world! And there you are, rambling away to yourself... Perhaps that's my future foretold! x

    Kathy B!: I love the exclamation in your name! I would offer myself up as a consultant to you and your children, gladly! However I only learned the meritocracy thing myself, at age 37... Before that I was waiting for someone (anyone!) to pull me up the ladder after them, because they all valued my work... It's just not enough, is it? You have to look out for yourself in life... And I still choose to look out for others too, hence my advice to Grizz... x